Man in Hot Water for Launching ‘Feline Jihad’

A Tennessee man became irritated with problems associated with the neighborhood cat lady feeding about 10 stray cats, so he threatened a ‘feline jihad’ to stop it. He wrote in a local newspaper: “I’ve officially become a trapper and it’s time to take a walk to the river.” Apparently the local Humane Society had been unwilling or unable to stop the cat problems. The ‘Humane Education Society’ (whatever that is) wants to talk with the cat jihadist. The police said they were investigating as well. I guess you are better off threatening jihad against people than against cats. No word yet whether the ACLU is going to represent the threatened cats. If any of the cats turn out to be gay this guy could be in a shitload of trouble.

The moral of the story is: Do not kill cats. Do not even threaten to kill cats. Do what I do. Bring them over to the Chinese restaurant. At 2 bucks a tail, it’s the easiest money you’ll ever make. Plus 10% off the sesame chicken. It’s a really sweet deal. If it tastes like chicken it could be chicken…

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