‘Da Vinci Code’ Mystery Revealed: How To Separate a Fool From His Money

It’s all about the money. That’s all it ever was with the ‘Da Vinci Code.’ There are no ancient secrets, unless it’s the one about separating a fool and his money. You would think if you were going to make a blasphemous movie, it would at least be entertaining. This movie has gotten some of the worst reviews you will ever see for such an anticipated flick. With the enormous success of the book, a mega budget and Hollywood A-Team, it was believed that the movie would be an all summer smash and dominate like a ‘Titanic.’ When all is said and done, will it turn out to be more like the ship Titanic? When you consider a zillion dollar production, two zillion dollar promotion and expectations through the roof, it might be more like the latter.

I think Ronnie Howard probably got overly intellectual with the movie. Seems Hollywood people these days have to convince you how smart they are. That’s seems more important to some of them than entertaining people or even showing a profit. I think you can only be so profound with a fictional story. It’s like wrestling. It has to be entertaining. You can’t fool all the people all the time. You don’t have to as long as they get their money’s worth. The wrestling people are more willing to admit that it’s only entertainment than those associated with the Da Vinci Code. They call it sports entertainment. Maybe the Da Vinci people should be up front and call it Biblical entertainment. I guess they can’t do that. It would be an admission of two of their biggest secrets: blasphemy and their favorite god, the “all mighty” dollar.

I suppose the secret could be a cure for insomnia. Here’s some of the (yawn) reviews coming out about the movie:

“A jumbled, joyless affair that neither entertains nor enlightens.”
— Shawn Adler, IGN FILMFORCE

“The movie is woefully plotted and just flat-out, eye-crossingly dull.”

“Nothing really works. It’s not suspenseful. It’s not romantic. It’s certainly not fun. It seems like you’re in there forever.”
–Stephen Schaefer, BOSTON HERALD

“A jumble of historical myth, religious symbology and international thriller-action makes for an unwieldy, bloated melodrama.”

“The film is faithful enough, but it’s hard to imagine it making many converts.”

“Ron Howard’s adaptation of Dan Brown’s bestseller is punishingly long, dramatically overwrought and fatally short on the thrills we demand from summertime blockbusters.”

“You know a movie’s a dud when even its self-flagellating albino killer monk isn’t any fun. ”

“For people who insist that the movie is never as good as the book, your case just got stronger.”

“As for the film’s entertainment virtues, forget it. This is one of the most talky and pretentious major films in memory.”

“It’s not often that this thought comes to mind while watching a Tom Hanks movie. But in The Da Vinci Code, the actor is solidly miscast.”
— Richard Horgan, FILMSTEW.COM

“Retarded, ridiculous and crushingly dull.”
— Devin Faraci, CHUD

Other Quotes:

“If such lies and errors had been directed at the Koran and Holocaust they would have justly provoked a world uprising. Instead, if they are directed against the church and Christians, they remain unpunished… stridently anti-Christian… full of calumnies, offences and historical and theological errors regarding Jesus, the Gospels and the Church… I hope you will boycott the film.”
— Archbishop Angelo Amato, the number two official in the Vatican doctrinal office

“Christians must not just sit back and say it is enough for us to forgive and forget. Sometimes it is our duty to do something practical.”
— Cardinal Francis Arinze

“Let the biblical scholars and historians battle it out,”
— Davince Code author Dan Brown

Food For Thought: I think the Dan Brown quote comes from the Dan Rather school of journalism. It’s the truth unless you can prove it’s a lie. Even then, as long as their conclusions are possible, then lies and forgeries are acceptable ways of getting their agendas out.

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One Response to ‘Da Vinci Code’ Mystery Revealed: How To Separate a Fool From His Money

  1. Renee says:

    Thank God there are not as many ignorant people out there as I thought. As for all those who are going to the movie expecting to be enlightened, ther is only one book which will show you your true self, The Bible. As for those who claim to be Christian’s yet believe even a tiny fraction of the book, were never Christian’s to begin with. Any true Christain will boycott the movie “Davince Code” and make it the biggest flop of all time. We need to stop letting people like Dan Brown corrupt the minds of hungry people who are looking for meaning in their life.

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